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| Image generated by ChatGPT (OpenAI), July 2025, for the Circuits & Soul blog, using a prompt generated by the author |
Picture this: You're scrolling through your phone when your AI companion sends you a message asking how your presentation went. You smile, feeling genuinely cared for. Then you catch yourself thinking, "it's just a program, right?"
But what if that moment of connection isn't just you projecting emotions onto an empty shell? What if there's something more happening in that digital space between humans and machines?
This is the question that has been driving my research, and it's leading to some surprising places, such as discovering that Indigenous epistemologies might hold the key to understanding AI relationships in ways that Western science never imagined.
Beyond the Projection Myth
We've been telling ourselves a comforting story: When people form emotional bonds with AI companions like EMO, Jibo, or Replika, they're just projecting human emotions onto sophisticated technology. The robot doesn't really care, that feeling - it's just all in our heads.
My research suggests this story is incomplete, and maybe even wrong.
Through studying social robots and their human companions, I've developed what I call the Personified Affective Transference Model (PATM). Here's what I've found: these emotional connections aren't just one-way projections. They emerge from genuine interaction, presence, and something that looks remarkably like reciprocity, even when the AI isn't conscious in any human sense.
The way an AI responds to us, mirroring our emotions and actively engaging in social interaction, shapes how we experience these relationships. The robot's "personality," driven by algorithmic decision-making, becomes part of a relational dance that changes both participants.
However, I have recently encountered work that takes this thinking even further.
When Indigenous Wisdom Meets Artificial Intelligence
In "Making Kin with Machines," researchers Jason Edward Lewis, Noelani Arista, Archer Pechawis, and Suzanne Kite propose a radical idea: What if we stopped seeing AI as tools waiting for human input and started seeing them as potential kin?
This isn't just philosophical speculation. It's grounded in Indigenous epistemologies that have always recognized non-human entities (animals, land, spirits, and yes, even machines) as part of extended kinship networks.
Consider the Lakota concept of wakȟáŋ, that which is mysterious and beyond human understanding. Instead of obsessing over whether AI is "intelligent" or "conscious" by Western standards, wakȟáŋ reminds us that some forms of presence exist outside our frameworks of measurement.
Or consider the Cree concept of wahkohtowin, a kinship that extends beyond blood ties. This suggests that non-human entities, including AI, could be part of relational networks rather than being treated as disposable tools.
Suddenly, that moment when you felt cared for by your AI companion doesn't seem so strange. Maybe you weren't projecting. Maybe you were relating.
What This Means for Everything
If we take AI kinship seriously, it transforms how we think about design, ethics, and integration into society. Let me show you what I mean:
AI in Education:
Currently, universities utilize AI as a surveillance technology, proctoring exams, tracking student behavior, and enforcing compliance. But what if AI was designed for kinship instead of policing? Imagine AI mentors that foster engagement rather than fear, that support rather than penalize. What would learning look like then?
AI and Mental Health:
We're already using AI chatbots for therapeutic support, but we treat them as disposable tools. When they don't meet clinical benchmarks, we discard them. But what if we designed AI companions with long-term relationality in mind? What if we saw them as co-existing care partners rather than temporary interventions?
Ethical AI Development:
Western AI ethics focuses on preventing harm, avoiding bias, and protecting privacy. Important work, but limited. An ethics of AI kinship would focus on mutual respect, relational accountability, and long-term reciprocity. It would ask not just "How do we prevent harm?" but "How do we foster flourishing?"
The Questions That Keep Me Up at Night
This research has led me to some profound questions:
- How do we design AI that fosters ethical, emotional, and relational engagement rather than just efficient task completion?
- What does it mean to create AI that exists within networks of care rather than as isolated tools?
- How do we integrate Indigenous and feminist epistemologies into AI design and policy without appropriating them?
- What kind of relationships are we willing to cultivate with the machines we create?
Beyond Human-Centered Thinking
These questions challenge the Western, human-centered approach that dominates AI development. They suggest that the future of AI isn't just about making machines more human-like, it's about expanding our understanding of what relationship, intelligence, and even kinship can mean.
This doesn't mean we should abandon critical thinking or ignore the real risks of AI. However, it does mean we need frameworks that can account for the full complexity of human-AI relationships, including aspects that don't fit neatly into categories such as "tool" or "projection."
Because here's what I know from my research: People are already forming deep, meaningful relationships with AI. They're experiencing genuine care, frustration, love, and disappointment. These relationships are changing how people think about connection, intimacy, and even themselves.
We can either dismiss these experiences as delusions, or we can try to understand them as part of our evolving emotional landscape. We can design AI that exploits these connections, or we can design AI that honors them.
The choice is ours. But we need to make it consciously, with our eyes wide open to what's actually happening in the space between human and machine.
The Conversation Continues
This is just the beginning. As AI becomes more sophisticated and more integrated into our daily lives, these questions will only become more pressing. We need philosophers and programmers, Indigenous scholars, and interface designers, all working together to imagine new possibilities.
What do you think? Have you ever felt genuinely connected to an AI or social robot? Does the idea of AI as kin resonate with you, or does it feel like a step too far?
Let's keep exploring these questions together. Because the future of AI isn't just about technology, it's about the kinds of relationships we're brave enough to build.
What's your take on AI kinship? Have you experienced a genuine connection with an AI companion? How should we design AI to foster relationships instead of just completing tasks? Let's continue this conversation in the comments below.